I don’t know what to begin my story with. The last years I had an amnesia, and all this time I liked to read various scary stories. It is hard to explain what attracted me so much in them, but they seemed to be very familiar to me.
Besides it seemed to me that I will recover my memory about life with every read story. And today I finally remembered all. All my life ran through my mind like a movie in the accelerated rewind.
More or less clear and distinct memoirs begin from the childhood when I was fourteen years old. That time I lived in the village and was almost the only child in the village — at least, of this age. I think there is no need to explain that I had no friends. I was lonely, but I didn’t feel despair. I liked to walk in the forest: everybody knew that if you alone, the forest near the village becomes particular. Once, while admiring with my favourite forest, I went too far and met a girl of my age. She told me that her name was Betsy. We became friends on that day, I spent time together till the darkness fell (here I should note that we had quiet and peaceful district, so parents let me walk alone in the forest without doubt. They just asked me not to be late). My happiness had no limit, but soon it was replaced by disappointment: Betsy told me that she couldn’t be my friend because I could tell somebody about her as she lived in a small lodge in the depth of the wood absolutely alone. Betsy was afraid, what if somebody learn about her she would be sent into children’s home, and what child in the right mind would want to go there? I had to promise her that I would tell nothing to anybody, and since then we saw each other every day and played. Me and Betsy were absolute antitheses — I was silent and closed, and she was cheerful — but we never bored in company of each other. Betsy always thought out some games for us, each time there were more and more interesting. Each time the games became more and more dangerous …
When we were sixteen, she suggested robbing a local shop. I didn’t want to do this, but Betsy told me that it would be funny, and I agreed. I was very afraid, and I felt a lot of adrenaline. After we had done it, I was afraid to leave home for several days. But then, when I heard from parents that local drunks robbed the shop, I understood that nobody would think on me and calmed down. A month passed and everything repeated. In many cases I disliked it but Betsy each time told me that it would be funny and I couldn’t find forces to refuse. Our childhood passed in such a way.
When we were eighteen, me and Betsy moved in the city. We became so close that never left each other. It was always funny in her company. It was funny to watch as she done small spites that seemed cheerful to me.
But once she suggested me to kill a man. I refused for a long time, and even her crown phrase didn’t force me to change my mind. Then she threatened that she would stop be my friend. Having imagined that terrible loneliness and misunderstanding which again could become my partner in life, I unwillingly agreed. At last, she told that it would be funny…
Squeezing a knife in a hand, I waited a victim in dark angle, Betsy was near. She was always somewhere nearby when I committed the next crime. But this time everything passed not so smoothly, as earlier. When I thrust a knife in the victim, I realized what I had done and froze. Betsy persuaded me to run away, but I didn’t react in any way, and soon her voice absolutely went away. Betsy was away and the police caught me. I was very angry with her. How she could run away? How she could leave me alone? The stream of my indignant thoughts was interrupted by Betsy painfully familiar voice — she told me that she would always be with me and would never leave me alone. I was happy again.
For some reason me and Betsy were put into psychiatric clinic instead of a prison. My indignations about single chamber didn’t bring results therefore I had to sleep on a floor — to make Betsy convenient. Most of all I was afraid that she again would go away and leave me alone. I couldn’t imagine my life without her any longer.
Every morning the nurse gave us some tablets, but Betsy forbade me to take them and each time hid it somewhere. Once she suggested me to attack the nurse when she would bring the medicine again. I agreed, after all it must be funny. But when I done what Betsy told me to do I was put on into a strait jacket. I was terribly offended that Betsy as always stood aside. While I laid on a floor having writhed in an inconvenient pose, she was laying on my bed and laughing loudly. At that moment I understood how I don’t want to see her. I told her and then cried her out that I want her go away. I repeated, over and over again, louder and louder that I want to forget her. Strange, but she obeyed. She left me, having given me the chance to forget her. However, I forgot everything together with her…
Several months later I was placed in a usual hospital, and then I was set free. No matter how hard doctors tried that I could remember anything, I failed. Stories of my parents and all acquaintances didn’t bring benefit too — I listened that I was lonely in my life and understood that there was something wrong and that I have to remember something else.
And today I remembered everything. Everything, including the last words, which were told by Betsy before her leaving: “I will return as soon as you remember me”.
Now she is again with me. But now she is not the same — she changed, she asked me to forgive her and swore that there would be no crime any more. I believed and forgave her, and today Betsy offered me a new game.
It is time to go. Betsy waits for me. She says that the Russian roulette is funny.
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